I Didn’t Want More. I Wanted Change.

During the transition of leaving my 9–5 to go all in on my business, I watched a lot of YouTube.

I had been at my job for 14 years. Fourteen. And it had absolutely nothing to do with business or photography. I wasn’t surrounded by entrepreneurs. I didn’t have a built-in roadmap. I was learning everything from scratch, mostly through what I lovingly call YouTube University.

And there was one phrase I heard over and over again.

“If you want more…”

At the time, I didn’t question it. Of course I wanted more.
More freedom.
More control over my life.
More time with my kids.
More time for myself.

But if I’m being honest, I also wanted less.

Less stress.
Less chaos.
Less crying.
Less anxiety.
Less dread.

At the time, I worked in a psychiatric hospital. And I want to be very clear about this: that work matters. People absolutely need to be there. Every role in that building was important, and the people I worked with were incredible humans.

But the physical act of working there no longer aligned with the season of life I was in.

My oldest was about to start kindergarten, with school hours from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. I worked 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. That meant both of my boys would be in daycare or before-and-after school care from 7:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m.

And honestly… what?

I didn’t want that to be our normal.

I didn’t want to rush them out the door every morning. I didn’t want to sit in my car after work just to decompress from the emotional weight of the day before switching into mom mode. I didn’t want to feel like I was constantly running on fumes.

All while trying to chase my own dreams.
All while trying to take care of myself.
All while trying to cook healthy dinners, keep the house together, make sure everyone had clean clothes, walk my aging dog, and somehow still feel like me.

It was too much. And not in a dramatic way. In a quiet, soul-level way.

So I started to realize something.

I didn’t actually want more.

I wanted change.

I wanted something different.
Something more aligned.
Something that fit the life I was actually living, not the one I was supposed to want.

The people I worked with at the hospital were amazing. Some of them will stay there until retirement. Some will leave and do something entirely new. Some may even go back later to volunteer. And all of that is valid.

What matters is that each person gets to decide what’s best for them.

I know not everyone gets the same choices. I know circumstances, responsibilities, and life events aren’t equal across the board. I’m not naive to that.

But I also believe this: if you feel that pull in your bones, that quiet knowing that you’re meant for something new, something different, something more aligned… you’re allowed to listen to it.

You’re allowed to try.

We get one life.

Why not give it all you’ve got?