Confidence Isn’t a Vibe — It’s a Practice (And I Built Mine Doing It Scared)

People tell me all the time, “I wish I had your confidence so I could start my business or finally leave my job.”

And honestly?
I get why they think that.
I put myself out there a lot. I show up. I talk openly about my life and business. I walk into rooms like I belong there.

But here’s the truth that almost nobody sees:

I didn’t build my confidence by feeling confident.
I built it by doing everything scared.

I built it by choosing my goals over my insecurities.
By caring more about the life I wanted than what anyone might think.
By showing up even when my hands were shaking or my voice cracked or my stomach was in knots.

Because at the end of the day, I’m still just a girl…
a mom…
a human with insecurities like everyone else.

I just refuse to use them as an excuse.

The Retreat I Almost Talked Myself Out Of

The month before my brand photography retreat in March, I almost canceled it ten different times.

I didn’t want to leave my kids for 3 nights.
I didn’t want to travel alone.
I didn’t want to feel guilt, or fear, or the pressure of choosing myself.

But something in me whispered,
“Do it scared. You know this is going to change you.”

So I went.
And it pushed me miles outside my comfort zone…like, catapulted.

That single choice cracked something open inside me.
It showed me that confidence shows up after the action, not before.

The Scarcity Loop That Controlled Me

When I was still at my 9-5, the same thought haunted me on repeat:

“What if I can’t replace my income?”

I was so conditioned by the employee mindset that the idea of relying on myself felt like freefalling.

But then month one came.

And I made more than my salary.

That was the moment I realized:
I’m capable of more than I’ve ever given myself credit for.
And I’ve been holding myself back.

From that point forward, it was go time.

The Breakdown That Became the Turning Point

The day I knew I had to leave my job wasn’t glamorous.

I was sitting in my car, crying, because my son was sick and I was out of time off.
I couldn’t stay home with him.
I had to clock in.

And I remember thinking:

“I can’t live my life like this. I want calm. Not chaos.”

Everyone always talks about “freedom” when they dream about entrepreneurship,
but I wanted something softer:

Slow mornings.
Time to take care of myself.
Space to think.
The option to choose my family when they need me.

So I made a promise to myself:
I wasn’t waiting to feel confident.
I was acting like the woman who already had the life I wanted.

And eventually… I became her.

Visibility Was My Confidence Training Ground

Showing up online.
Brand photos.
Telling my story.
Being vulnerable.
Letting people see me.

None of that came naturally.
But it built my brand, my boundaries, and my community.

It also taught me this powerful truth:

I only take advice from people I respect.
Everyone else?
They don’t get access to me.

That mindset alone will change your self-confidence more than any quote or pep talk.

The Moments I Wanted to Quit (And Why I Didn’t)

I’ve had days where I thought about quitting. Absolutely.
Entrepreneurship is a lot.
It’s all on you.

But the female friendships I’ve built…
those are what keep me steady.

We’re all doing this together.
I’m just the one driving my own ship.

The Unlock: Seeing What I Was Capable Of

My one-month anniversary of leaving my job was the moment everything clicked.

I saw the money I brought in and instantly felt something in me expand.

It wasn’t about the number.
It was about the proof.

The proof that I can do this.
The proof that the fear wasn’t real.
The proof that my future was bigger than my doubts.

That opened me up.
It removed the money block.
It shifted my focus from scarcity to possibility.

What I Wish Women Knew About Confidence

If I could tell that woman — the one who said she wishes she had my confidence — anything…
it’s this:

If you wanted it bad enough, you would find a way.

Not overnight.
Not by quitting immediately.
Not by leaping blindly.

But by being honest with yourself.
By listening to the version of you who already has the life you want.
By embodying her now — not later.

Confidence isn’t magic.

It’s repetition.

It’s showing up.
It’s doing things scared.
It’s choosing your future self over someone else’s opinion.

And if you’re reading this?

You’re capable of more than you think.